Paper, paper everywhere but not a thought to think

I played this blog entry in my mind this morning when I couldnt go back to sleep. We'll see how it turns out...

I remember hearing a story about Jonathan Edwards that always made me sad. His wife helped raise his (14?) kids and was known for her hard work and self sacrifice. One of the ways that Jonathan liked to dote on his wife was to spend a little of his money on chocolate for her (a rare commoditiy back then, I'm sure) when he sent money to town with someone for paper for his sermons. One day, he asked his church for a little more money so that he could afford more paper. They told him that he should spend the money he spent on chocolate if he needed more. I always thought that was so sad...the one indulgence(I'm sure Sara did not have many) that she was given by her beloved husband was taken from them in order to meet the needs of his office--which should have been gladly supplied by the church, in my humble opinion. I'm sure that Sara could give up chocolates, but it must have made Jonathan sad to let go of one of the ways that he showed his love to his wife.

But I was also thinking about another angle of this small anecdote. I know that paper was not in great supply back then, but what must it be like to write so much, and have so many thoughts that need recording that you run out of surface area? The man was a deep thinker--you know this is true when you try to read his works--and it is amazing with all that he left us with, that he did not have enough space to say it all.

This makes me sad because we live in an age of plenty, where paper is everywhere and cheap. I could write myself a novel and get it copied for friends without so much as a dent in my spending money. OR, I could do what I'm doing now and write drivel(for free!) that will probably never be recorded with paper and ink.

It is an interesting paradox where we now have enough paper for all of Edward's thoughts, and reflections, yet we have no Edwards.

I could make some sweeping statement that this is because our culture is steeped in mindlessness and triviality. I could blame it on the prevalence of television and pop culture that keeps me from deep thoughts and introspection--the kind that I feel compelled to write down for my own reflection. But the reality is, I'm just lazy. I have the choice to turn off the tv, push aside the magazines, and read something meaningful and then record my own thoughts on the matter, but I'm just lazy. I know that it is possible in this life--even today--to be like Edwards and commit yourself to reading, study, and writing (all committed to absolute devotion to the Lord) because I have seen it done. But the cost is denial of self. And by 'self' I mean the trade off of being entertained by television, movies, music, magazines, internet surfing, and various time wasting activities that have eaten up my leisure time(by leisure I mean spring break). I could at the very least commit myself to read what was so important for Edwards to record that he would sacrifice comfort and indulgence to put on paper--even if it meant wrapping my mind around his difficult use of the English language.

I remember Dirk asking one of these people that sometimes remind us of of Edwards' devotion to study how he was able to read so much and get so much accomplished in a day. His answer was "it is easy, you just do something different with your time."

Indeed.


--Kathy