An immeasurable blessing

I don't think its been officially announced on the blog that we are pregnant yet...maybe it has. I'm not willing to go back and check right now. Well we are in our 12th week and it has been a ride! I'm very thankful for all of it--the fatigue, the soreness, the puking. They are GOOD signs and just what I prayed for. I have to keep telling myself that.

So Dirk mentioned the 'vomit story' Its really not much--and at the time it was only ONE anecdote, but now I have my pick. I've thrown up in various places: the kitchen sink, the trash can, in class, parking lots, but this morning was new experience. I had dropped off Dirk at school and was winding my way through a neighborhood to get to the high school and I started to feel sick. For some reason, I seem to think that by sheer willpower I will be able to overcome the puking reflex--not so. I had to pull over after a stop sign to puke out the door of my car. It was a new one---Its amazing how many cars will whiz by a puking lady at 6:30 in the morning. They probably thought I was a hungover teenager and I deserved it. Figures.

It can be easy to forget what all this is for--that the small inconveniences are part of a bigger picture that the Lord has His hand on. Sometimes I feel like a poor victim suffering under all kinds of ailments: overwhelming tiredness, weight gain, and of course the puking. But yesterday I had a beautiful reminder about the amazing and humbling miracle that is happening inside of me.

For the past week or so I had been feeling uncomfortable occasionally when I would sit down. It didn't happen all the time and wasn't especially painful, but it made me feel like I needed to lay back or stand back up. Something like pressure in my pelvis. I was describing the sensation to my mom and she suggested that I check with my doctor if I was nervous. I called after school yesterday, and I guess the way I described it made the nurses nervous and they told me to come quickly to be examined. I hurriedly picked up Dirk and rushed off to the medical center. I was so scared and upset all the way there fearing the worst from the visit. They were able to work me in and the nurse practitioner spent extra time with me, checking everything out and reassuring me. I even got to see an ultrasound of our baby. It was climbing and kicking all over the place! It was so amazing to see the little fingers and toes, and even the brain and spinal cord! It even looked towards us at one point and we could see its face! for a few moments it looked like it was clapping its hands...it was so sweet.

I get teary eyed just thinking about it right now. My God is so gracious to me to remind me of His wonderful miracle and the beauty of his creation even while I secretly made myself the martyr for carrying this sweet little baby. I am so honored that He would heap such a blessing on us. I can't imagine complaining about puking or being tired when I remember this little life growing in me.

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand
When I awake, I am still with You.
Psalm 139: 13-18

Praise the Lord!

--Kathy